How can women balance making good money and raising good children?

Busy as hell

In the past, women were often confined to the house with children, cooking, and being the shadow behind their husbands. Women today are not only concerned with "housekeeping" but have also stepped out into society, working, earning money, and developing their careers like men. The double burden of "being in the living room and in the kitchen" makes many women always busy, unable to finish their work.

"I'm so busy that sometimes I feel like I have no time to breathe. I just wish there were 48 hours in a day," confided My Hanh (36 years old, Hanoi ).

Ms. Hanh's daily schedule is always packed. She wakes up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for the whole family and then takes her children to school. Then she spends 8 hours doing accounting work at the company, handling paperwork. After work, she rushes home to go to the market and have dinner.

In the evenings, her husband looks after their 3-year-old son, while she helps her 7-year-old daughter with her homework. When her husband is busy, she also plays with the baby and teaches the older child. By the time she finishes everything and goes to bed, she is exhausted.

“My husband is also busy and doesn't know how to do much housework, so he can only help his wife with taking care of the children,” she shared.

Women are tired of having to work to earn money and take care of family and children (Illustration photo).

According to a report by the International Labor Organization, more than 70% of Vietnamese women of working age participate in the labor force - higher than the global average rate (47.2%). Vietnamese women spend an average of 20.2 hours per week on housework and childcare, while men spend only 10.7 hours on these tasks. In fact, nearly 1/5 of men do not spend any time on housework.

Taking care of both social work and family is not an easy task. There are women who are forced to choose between work and family.

Ms. Ha Anh (40 years old, Ho Chi Minh City) has a successful career as the director of a media company, but the more successful she is at work, the more unstable her family is.

“My work is so busy that I don’t have much time for my family. My eldest son is addicted to games and his studies are failing. Therefore, my husband often blames me for only wanting to make money and forgetting about my family, blaming “the child is spoiled because of the mother”. While he has more free time than me, he doesn’t take care of and discipline his child early. Sometimes I wonder if I should stop my career to focus on being a good wife and mother,” she said.

How to balance work and family?

Having consulted many women, psychologist Nguyen Thi Lanh (Minh Tri Thanh Academy) said that she has heard many women complain about the pressure of having to worry about finances and trying to take care of the house, husband and children. Some people are even stressed and tired for a long time, leading to anxiety disorders and depression.

According to Ms. Lanh, to find a balance between work and family, women need to set priorities at different times. There are times when making money and career are more important, and there are times when family and children are the top priority.

At the same time, women need to understand that housework is not just a woman's job. From there, share openly with your husband so that he can help with some tasks.

“Not only men, but sometimes women also have the prejudice that housework is “women’s work”, taking care of children is a natural duty, so they take on all the housework and children, leading to overload and fatigue. Others think that their husbands are clumsy, do not know how to do housework, are hot-tempered and yell when teaching children, so they would rather do it themselves. These are all incorrect behaviors,” Ms. Lanh analyzed.

The female expert said that sharing and understanding are very important factors to bond and maintain family happiness. Women can share some of the housework with their husbands, and if they want their husbands to help them with something, they should say it directly, and not expect their husbands to understand and do it themselves.

There may be many things that you have never done before, so when you start, you will be clumsy and awkward. You should not criticize, but guide and encourage them so that they can get used to it and become proficient with it.

Having your husband share the housework not only helps reduce the workload, but also helps you feel more comfortable mentally, not feeling frustrated or annoyed because you cook, do the laundry, clean, and work nonstop, while your husband sits with his feet up, leisurely watching TV and using his phone.

To Hai

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