Clan rituals must be a cultural beauty.

Every year, starting from October is the peak of the wedding season. Attending a wedding in Nghi Duc commune, Tanh Linh district, I was sitting with my friend and his wife. I saw them sitting holding chopsticks but not picking up any food. I urged them, the husband said:

- Last night, they had the same dishes. Then, as if he had something on his mind, he confided:

- The wedding had 50 tables for guests, last night their group had 30 tables.

- What's so fierce?

- I was wondering the same thing as you, but the landlord explained that every house does it that way. Why don't we do it?

When did the family night party begin?

Perhaps when life is a little better, many families not only hold weddings but also hold village parties called "family groups". The night before the wedding, the family with a child getting married invites friends and most of the young people in the neighborhood to come to the party and sing freely. One family does it, another follows. At first, a few tables invite close friends, gradually more people come because the young people in the neighborhood do not have to be invited but automatically come to join in the fun. One family organizes, another follows because everyone does it. Some people do not want to, but they are hesitant to do it. Some families hold weddings at restaurants, but to have a family group at night, they also have to rent a tent and order tables. This type of "family group" costs a lot of money (approximately half of the wedding cost) and is time-consuming. Especially in the countryside, when the family is well off at night, they serve beer. Some families serve wine. Live music, a little wine, then the young people sing and refuse to leave. The band did not dare to stop, the host had to beg because he had to clean the theater grounds so that he could welcome the bride early the next morning. In the city, you cannot see "family groups" like this. I don't know if it exists in other districts or not, but in Tanh Linh and Duc Linh districts, it has become an unwritten ritual that many families have followed and it has become almost common.

The current clan group ritual has changed very differently from the previous clan group.

Around 2010 or earlier, at that time there were no wedding services, in Duc Linh, Tanh Linh, the family group would make a few trays to invite relatives and friends to check what was not finished for the next day such as making a tent, finding coconut leaves to make a wedding gate, assigning tasks for shopping and cooking, reminding those who would be in the wedding procession... Also that night, the women went to the market to buy meat, fish, fresh food, and vegetables, then set them out to cook and chat happily. The dishes were all cooked by the family (nowadays, they hire cooks or order them from restaurants). The women chopped garlic and onions; the uncles butchered pigs, chickens, and ducks; the aunts cut meat, marinated meat, cooked all kinds of dishes, from hot pot, stir-fry, to stew, salad; the women gathered to make jelly, peel fruit. At night, the group was bustling with laughter and joy.

Now the group is different. Honestly speaking, because of the official wedding day, the host family is also very busy. Many people really want to reduce this cumbersome group but are hesitant. "Other people do it, I have to do it too." Some people also declare that when my child gets married, I will reduce this part. But it is just an idea.

Proper grouping is a beautiful cultural etiquette of Vietnamese people. Perhaps there should be some direction and change.

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