Why did people in the past get married without knowing each other but rarely got divorced?

In ancient times, it was not easy for men to divorce their wives because of marital discord because the marriage was not simply a husband wanting a divorce.

In many historical dramas, divorce in ancient China is often depicted as the husband writing a divorce petition in anger and sending his wife back to her parents' home, ending the marriage. In reality, men in ancient times did not have such great power over their marriages, nor was the ancient divorce system so simple.

Divorce in ancient times had to meet "7 conditions" and "3 no's"

7 reasons for divorce

Not filial to parents

Not serving the husband's parents is the most important of the "Seven reasons for divorce". The ancients highly valued the "Three Obediences and Four Virtues", so if a daughter-in-law is not filial to her husband's parents, it will not be accepted by society.

No children so divorce

In ancient society, “maintaining the family line” was one of the main purposes of marriage. According to the “Tang Law Commentary”, only when the wife was over 50 years old and had not given birth could she be divorced on the grounds of childlessness, which was in accordance with the regulations.

Debauchery

In ancient marriages, a woman's most important responsibility was to maintain family harmony and give birth to children of the same bloodline, so a wife's debauchery was completely unacceptable to the man's family.

Jealous

This word is often used to describe a wealthy family with both concubines and servants, the wife is dissatisfied when her husband has a concubine. In the eyes of the ancients, concubines give birth to children to continue the family line, a jealous and envious wife is an obstacle to inheriting the family line.

talkative

To maintain order and prevent conflicts in the family, women should talk less and should not talk about right and wrong. A talkative woman will be considered a disaster to her husband's family, so her husband's family may abandon her.

Serious illness

In ancient times, “serious illness” often referred to two types of diseases: one was an incurable disease, and the other was what we call “infectious disease” today. Both of these diseases affected the health and fertility of the family, which was completely unacceptable in ancient families.

Theft

In ancient families, the wife had no right to own private property. If the wife used family property without permission, it was considered theft and could be grounds for divorce.

3 things not to do when getting a divorce

A wife who has mourned her parents-in-law for three years is not entitled to a divorce;

A husband who marries a poor woman cannot divorce her when he becomes rich;

The wife had a family before marriage but now has no family to return to, so she cannot divorce.

From the above reasons, it can be seen that these regulations are basically aimed at protecting the development and stability of the family, regardless of personal feelings.

So, if men in ancient times wanted to divorce their wives because of marital discord, it seemed that it was not so easy. This marriage was not simply a husband wanting a divorce.

Divorce certificate of the Tang Dynasty

In 1900, a batch of Tang Dynasty documents were unearthed in the Mogao Caves in Dunhuang, including many Tang Dynasty “divorce certificates”. The basic contents are as follows:

“All husband and wife have a connection from three previous lives, and in this life they are paired as husband and wife. They are like a pair of mandarin ducks, flying together, kneeling together, sitting together, both beautiful, loving each other deeply, having two bodies and one heart. If they are together for three years, they will live in harmony, but if they are resentful for three years, hatred will arise.

If the relationship is not harmonious, it may be because we were enemies in our previous lives. Because of mutual resentment, we have to confront each other. The wife will criticize the husband for his words, the husband will become angry with her. Cats and mice hate each other, because our thoughts are different and it is difficult to reach a consensus, we should quickly gather with all our relatives to say goodbye, find a letter and go our separate ways.

I hope that after we break up, my wife will comb her hair, draw her eyebrows beautifully, show off her graceful figure, marry a high-ranking official, play with her shadow in the yard, and imitate the melodious rhythm of the zither. Let's let go of hatred and stop resenting each other. Let's break up and be happy.

At what time of year, month, day, in what village, I [name of person], respectfully and carefully wrote this letter.

The divorce agreement shows that they want to part ways amicably, with a gentle tone and polite words.

T. Linh (According to Aboluowang)

Source: https://giadinhonline.vn/vi-sao-nguoi-xua-lay-nhau-khi-chua-biet-mat-nhung-lai-it-ly-hon-d204611.html