Have you ever asked 'Do you like this subject?'

I personally learned a lesson about the question "Do you like learning this subject?" after "forcing" my child to learn chess.

Secretly wish my child would love chess

The children's final exams had just ended, so I immediately asked a colleague about a reliable chess school for her 5th grade daughter to study. Her daughter, also a 5th grader, had just achieved high results in the town and provincial chess competitions. Looking at other people's children, I secretly wished that my child would be as passionate about the intellectual competition in each chess game.

My child does not attend extra math or Vietnamese classes, so she has quite a bit of free time. Except for the two weekend mornings when she studies foreign languages, I think she can use most of her remaining time to pursue her passion for chess. Telling myself that, I feel secure with my plan to nurture her chess. This is something I dreamed of when I was a child but did not follow through with my dream.

Many parents register their children for extra classes after school and during the summer.

"Do I have a choice, Mom?"

Picking up my child, I told him about the hard work I had put in to inquiring about chess classes, finding the address to register with the teacher, and arranging a reasonable schedule. I happily showed him about the talented teacher who was famous for training young chess players and then invited him to go to the bookstore to buy a beautiful chess set for the coming days.

Contrary to my excitement, my daughter listened quietly and then softly asked: "Do I have the right to choose, Mom?". I was startled, confused and then signaled in agreement. She slowly arranged her words and then calmly expressed her desire not to participate in chess training because she did not really enjoy the intellectual competition on the chess board.

Seeing me pondering, my child continued to talk excitedly about his dream of becoming a fashion designer . His eyes were filled with enthusiasm as he talked about the designs of clothes that he and his close friends drew every day. The 5th graders who shared the same dream sketched out ideas for their fashion design studio, what to name it to make it impressive, how to arrange it, who would be in charge of what…

She also talked about her future side job: comic book author. The short, humorous stories written by a childish writer flashed through my mind. Then the scene of mother and daughter reading and laughing at each of her new "creations"...

I wonder: A child who loves drawing and creating is forced to pursue a subject that he lacks passion for? Is his childhood dream being forced to change direction just because of the dreams and passion of adults? I always hope my children find happiness in their education, but do I want them to take difficult steps with a subject that they have no talent for?

Young chess player Nguyen Doan Nhat Thien (right) of Kien Giang competes with his opponent in the rapid chess event at the 2022 National Team Chess Championship

I suddenly realized that I had never asked, “Do you like this subject?”. I was busy pursuing the passion I had missed out on as a child. I was busy painting a beautiful vision of the days when my child would spend time on the chess board, competing and achieving. And I was busy fantasizing about the achievements my child could achieve like “other people’s children”…

I realized that I was wrong in thinking that children would be happy with the choices of adults. Listening to my child’s heart, I decided to cancel the chess class registration plan and told myself to gradually practice the habit of asking for children’s opinions…

And you, have you ever asked 'Do you like this subject?'?

Source link: https://thanhnien.vn/ban-da-bao-gio-hoi-con-co-thich-hoc-mon-nay-khong-185230609100304817.htm