Children fail 10th grade, parents do not fail the role!

TPO - "When the child overcomes the emotional crisis, guide him/her to find new paths with new hope. Discuss with your child about wishes 2, 3, opportunities to study at non-public schools, vocational education centers - continuing education" - Associate Professor, Dr. Tran Thanh Nam shared.

The shock of 15: Silent but deep trauma

In the current educational context of the capital, failing the first choice to enter grade 10 for many families and students will be a shock, causing especially trauma to students who are in their extremely sensitive and vulnerable teenage years.

According to educators and psychologists, this is the time for parents to show understanding, support and narrow the generation gap with their children. So what should parents do?

Assoc. Prof. Dr. Tran Thanh Nam - Vice Rector of University of Education (Vietnam National University, Hanoi )

Associate Professor Dr. Tran Thanh Nam - Vice Principal of the University of Education (Hanoi National University) shared, first of all, "feel" the psychological loss of a minor when a dream is lost. Children will feel inferior, ashamed, and lose self-worth. They will compare themselves with friends, feel left behind, worry about the future, and feel that the world is "closed" to them. Many will withdraw from communication, which can lead to negative behavior if not supported promptly.

Second, according to this psychologist, listen and don't blame. Absolutely avoid saying things like: "I told you, if you study like that then...", "Your parents have high expectations", "Your friend A is a poor student but he passed but you..." Instead, say "Your parents understand that you have tried your best", "Let's find another suitable solution together."

“Remember that only when an individual feels understood and safe in the family will they dare to express their emotions and start over, overcoming the pain,” Mr. Nam shared.

According to Mr. Nam, let your child have a space to reflect and express his/her emotions. Do not distract or upset your child when he/she shows sadness, crying, or disappointment. Show your child that it is okay because those are natural emotions. Parents should also not force their child to "be strong immediately". Instead, encourage your child to write a diary, draw pictures, and share with relatives or a psychologist.

This is a way to help your child rethink his feelings, thoughts, perceptions and avoid the tendency to catastrophize. Then, parents should help their child review the learning process, the efforts made to strengthen their beliefs and values, not succeeding in an event does not make them lose their values.

In addition, parents need to analyze the reasons for failing NV1 objectively, so that children do not blame themselves, encourage them to learn from experience, overcome failure and continue to try.

Finally, when the child has overcome the emotional crisis, guide him to find new paths with new hope. Discuss with him the second and third wishes, the opportunity to study at non-public schools, vocational education centers - continuing education, or vocational training - dual degree. Help him see that many other options can still lead to success and happiness if they are suitable for his abilities and passion.

"Parents' attitude when their children fail can determine their maturity"

Associate Professor Dr. Tran Thanh Nam shared that parents should help their children set short-term and realistic goals: study well in a new environment, develop soft skills, and explore interests. Encourage and motivate children to participate in activities more actively and learn about new educational institutions. During this process, parents need to always pay attention to their children's mental health.

If you notice signs of a loss of control over your biological rhythm, such as prolonged insomnia, loss of appetite, withdrawal, negative comments like “I’m tired of life”, “I’m a burden”… take your child to see a school psychologist. Remember, “Passing or failing does not determine a child’s future.

Mr. Nam gives advice that parents' attitude when their children fail can determine their future maturity. By becoming an active companion in this difficult time, parents not only help their children pass an exam, but also help them develop the ability to endure failure, overcome failure to be steadfast on the path of life.

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Source: https://tienphong.vn/con-truot-lop-10-cha-me-dung-truot-vai-tro-post1758436.tpo