To break out of negative loops, the first thing we need to do is learn to accept the wounded child within and heal it step by step.
Avoidance of emotional wounds
Robert Jackman - famous psychotherapist - has spent a lot of time researching and supporting countless people to heal their wounded inner children.
In the process, he realized that most people were unconsciously avoiding their own wounds.
Many people believe that they were perfectly fine with a normal, untroubled childhood. However, this very thought allows the pain of the past to continue to reign and manifest itself through impulsive reactions or over-emotional responses.
In many cases, the manifestations of psychological trauma have not been properly recognized, some people even label it as "impulsivity", "affecting work productivity"...
According to Robert Jackman, through self-defense mechanisms, people soothe themselves or pretend to forget past hurts.
Yet, we keep falling into the cycle of tragedy; we keep blaming ourselves. These are signs of an unhealed emotional wound.
We all know that avoidance is never an effective way to solve a problem.
To end this situation, the first thing you need to do is face and acknowledge the emotional wounds that have been haunting you. If you are patient and open, positive changes will come.
As Robert Jackman writes, "The healing process looks beyond the dysfunctional part of you to reveal the wonderful part of you."
Learn to bring out your best side
In the book Healing the Wounded Child Within , author Robert Jackman suggests some useful tools that we can apply immediately to heal ourselves: reviewing the timeline of childhood events, writing letters between the adult and the wounded self, connecting impulsive reactions in the present with past causes, setting healthy boundaries…
Through exercises and stories of people who have healed, Robert Jackman will help you heal and release dysfunctional patterns that stem from past wounds.
Compared to changing others, changing yourself is always easier, more effective and less painful.
Changing yourself gives you the initiative in choosing your training methods and time, and also brings longer-term results when you have prepared yourself thoroughly if you have to face another person in a similar situation.
In general, the journey to healing your inner child will take a lot of time and effort. At times, it will bring up a lot of sadness that is hard to put into words.
However, once you go through the healing process, your emotional wounds will begin to merge with your responsible adult self, and you will no longer feel ignored or lost.
From there, the best, most wonderful parts of you will begin to emerge. You have become a conscious creator of your world , instead of an impulsive reaction to life.
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