Pre-meal invitation, keep it or drop it because it's no longer appropriate?

Family meals are very important to all members of a family - Photo: TU TRUNG

Vietnamese family meals are imbued with traditional Eastern culture.

Therefore, according to reader Thach Bich Ngoc, the invitation before the meal needs to be maintained and preserved.

Below is this reader's share.

An invitation is better than a feast

Invitations before each meal are not only in Vietnamese family meals, but it is also considered an indispensable cultural activity before every party.

In some countries around the world such as Japan, Korea, Turkey, France… this is especially important.

Greetings and kind words before meals are essential to express appreciation for food and care for everyone at the meal.

In our country since ancient times, regardless of urban or rural, mountainous or lowland, rich or poor, inviting people to eat before each meal has always been considered an almost mandatory habit for everyone in the family.

That's why there is a saying: "A greeting is more important than a feast" as a courtesy. It emphasizes the importance of greeting and respectful behavior to each other more than enjoying the meal.

When an elder, parent, or grandparent visits home, a warm welcome and polite inquiries will bring happiness that cannot be compared to any delicious food on the dining table.

When children are born, as soon as they can speak, they are taught by their parents, grandparents, or older siblings to invite each meal, such as: "I invite my grandparents to eat, I invite my parents to eat, I invite my older siblings to eat...".

If any child is so hungry before each meal that he or she eats in a hurry and forgets to invite family members, he or she will certainly be "scolded" by his or her grandparents, parents or siblings, and reminded to remember next time and absolutely not forget.

The education of inviting people to eat is not only limited to the family space, but children are always taught by grandparents and parents that when going somewhere to eat a party, they must not forget to invite people before eating.

No longer needed?

I still remember when I was little, my grandmother used to tell me: Wherever you go to a party, always remember to invite everyone. When you sit down to eat with elders of higher status, you don't necessarily have to invite each person one by one, you just need to say: I invite you to eat.

I think not only me, but many children born a few decades ago were also taught such an invitation by their grandparents and parents.

However, sadly, nowadays, that beautiful cultural activity is gradually fading away as invitations to dinner are increasingly absent in families in our country, especially in urban families.

Many people, especially young people, explain that eating and drinking is a daily occurrence and that inviting people before each meal in this modern age is no longer appropriate because it is cumbersome and time-consuming.

Once when I went to my friend's house, I was invited to stay and have dinner with the family. While eating, I noticed that my friend's two children, the older boy in middle school and the younger daughter in elementary school, bowed their heads and started eating without inviting their parents or me as a guest.

When you finished eating, your children went into their rooms. I suggested that you teach your children how to invite them to eat before each meal to create discipline and culture. My friend laughed and said, "Oh, that etiquette is so old-fashioned. This is the 21st century, not feudal times. Asking your children to invite you to eat like that is no longer necessary."

Hearing your explanation and knowing that you no longer attach much importance to the beauty of everyday cultural activities, I smiled and changed the subject.

The invitation before the meal as mentioned is a ritual, a rule, a beautiful traditional cultural activity in every Vietnamese family.

So no matter what modern times, the gradual decline is a sadness, a pity.

That is why families, especially those in urban areas, parents need to "revive" this beautiful cultural activity, by always paying attention to teaching their children to invite everyone before each meal.

According to long-standing Vietnamese tradition, not only children and grandchildren are required to invite grandparents and parents, but also seniors in the family, grandparents and parents, often invite their children and grandchildren before each meal.

In the past, in a family with 3 generations living together, when eating, grandparents would often invite: "Children, please eat." Their children would invite: "I invite my parents to eat," and parents would invite their children: "Children, please eat."

Why do you think such invitations are rare now? Should this be maintained in every Vietnamese family meal?

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/loi-moi-truoc-bua-an-duy-tri-hay-bo-di-vi-khong-con-phu-hop-20240828090322733.htm