Young people advise each other to raise their own children, don't let grandparents take care of their grandchildren.

Nhiều ý kiến cho rằng cha mẹ nên tự chăm sóc con mình theo cách của mình, không nên dựa dẫm vào ông bà — Many opinions say that parents should take care of their children in their own way, not rely on grandparents.

That is one of the readers' opinions on the eternal problem: asking grandparents to help take care of their grandchildren.

Recently, social networks are heatedly discussing a text message from a wife complaining to her husband that she "really doesn't understand" about asking her mother-in-law to take care of her grandchild.

The wife wanted her mother-in-law to take care of her grandchild for a year so that she and her husband could go to work. But she refused, even though she had previously expressed her desire for the grandchild and promised to help with expenses and take care of the grandchild. The husband believed that the children he gave birth to should be taken care of by themselves, and that the grandparents should not be blamed for refusing to take care of the grandchild.

The article "If you can give birth, you can raise the child, why blame the mother-in-law?!" posted on Tuoi Tre Online attracted many comments from readers. Most readers said they supported the idea that grandparents cannot be forced to take care of their grandchildren, and that when children are born, parents must be the primary caregivers.

However, many people also think that if grandparents refuse to take care of their grandchildren, they should not interfere or have any opinion about the parents' care and upbringing of the child.

Commenting that giving birth and taking care of a child will have many different perspectives, reader Ngoc Bich said that if you want everyone to mind their own business, then don't interfere in each other's business.

This reader wrote: " I think if grandparents do not want to help raise their children, they should not have any opinions about their children's marriage and childbirth. If the couple has enough conditions and financial preparation, they should have children, otherwise, they should not.

Seeing that the couple was not willing to have children, both families urged, criticized, and argued back and forth.

Having a baby and hiring a babysitter, or leaving a premature baby for a few months and then going to work is not cheap. State schools do not accept very young children, private schools with cameras are expensive. Schools without cameras, you never know if the child is abused or what is being done.

Women who stay home to take care of their children and don't go to work are not only bored but also get criticized for being dependent, which is not nice either.

Reader Xuan shares his story: "I'm from Saigon, generation 8X. I gave birth to 3 children and had to take care of them myself since I came home from the hospital. Needless to say, it was hard, but it worked out!

If you take care of your child yourself, you won't have to argue with your grandmother about different opinions and how you want to raise it. You have to be responsible for your own child, don't expect anything from anyone else."

Expressing sympathy for the wife in the article, reader Smile expressed: "In this situation, I think the wife is in a very difficult position: If she quits her job to stay home and take care of the children, she will lose her job and have no income. If she goes to work, she will still have work, but the cost of hiring a maid is too much, and her income is not enough to cover all expenses.

Grandma promises to help with childcare, money, etc., so you look forward to this support. When it doesn't come, you feel resentful and blamed.

The husband should understand the family situation and the reason why his wife behaves like that. Of course, having children requires calculation, should not depend on anyone. You also need to find a way for the two of you to solve family problems in a reasonable, fair and satisfactory way.

Gawei account thinks that the reason the grandmother in the above story refused to take care of her grandchild might be because "taking care of her grandchild after arguing with her daughter is better than arguing with both her daughter-in-law and son".

Reader Nam commented: "Children must live responsibly for themselves and their families. Why do you ask parents to take care of their children? They have worked hard all their lives, and now they are old and cannot rest. If grandparents are healthy and want to, they can take care of their grandchildren. If not, no one can blame or depend on them."

Reader No Name expressed his opinion: "I'm not afraid of grandparents taking care of my grandchildren, I'm just afraid that they won't take care of them the way I want. So, everyone takes care of their own children, don't interfere or give any opinions. Just love them but don't interfere and don't compete to take care of and teach them."

From another perspective, bullma account said: "It's true that each person raises their own child. But if they have the support and care of their grandparents, the relationship between daughter-in-law and parents-in-law will be even better. If each person takes care of their own life, then in the future, each person will also take care of their own life."

What do you think about the need for grandparents to help young couples raise their children? Do you think grandparents should help their children take care of their grandchildren, or enjoy their retirement? Please share your views with us at hongtuoi@tuoitre.com.vn. Tuoi Tre Online thanks you.

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