Quit job to take care of children to avoid daughter-in-law arguing with mother-in-law

In order to be able to take care of their children as they wish, many young mothers choose to separate their children from their grandparents early - Illustration: TRIEU VAN

Suffering with old and new parenting methods

Mothers always think of themselves as "experts" in raising children. That's partly true, because after all, they have experienced all the hardships of a mother's life. Most recently, by taking care of their children, they have raised a child to be a good person, now a husband and a father.

As for young mothers, first-time mothers nowadays always think that they love their children very much and are doing everything for them. They choose to raise their children using many different methods from books, the Internet... instead of following traditional methods.

No one is wrong. It's just that somehow, the way women raise their children doesn't quite suit the young mothers' wishes.

T. - a young father - texted to ask if my wife was forbidden from drinking water, bathing, or washing her hair when she first gave birth. He complained about being unjustly put in the role of "judge" between his wife and the other mothers.

His wife had just given birth and was "traumatized" because her mother did not allow her to bathe or wash her hair for the first month. He was afraid that before the pain of giving birth, she would get sick from being dirty.

Many young couples today when having children will encounter the above situation. Just starting is already very miserable. The misery here is that everyone is right, everyone has their own reasons.

Women do it for the good of their children. For young mothers, it seems impossible.

If they don't separate them, I'm afraid this "war" will have no end. Or if it does end, it will be a sad ending, full of sighs.

The terror of losing sleep while taking care of children - Illustration: TRIEU VAN

Nights of tears

Giang Ngoc (27 years old, living in Binh Tan district, Ho Chi Minh City) said that to avoid a tense "war" from the very beginning, she and her husband "fought" for the right to raise their child even before the child was born. The maternal and paternal grandparents agreed immediately. Of course, with this method, the couple had to be almost completely self-reliant in taking care of the child.

Many times, Ngoc whispered that taking care of a small child is very hard!

"I had to quit my job because I was worried if I didn't take care of my child directly. My grandparents couldn't stay with me for long, and even if they did, it would be difficult," Ngoc confided.

Ngoc said what she feared most was her baby crying at night. The scene of not being able to sleep peacefully for nearly the first 3 months in a row, sleeping fitfully and then being woken up by the sound of crying tearing through the night, along with the feeling of confusion not knowing what was wrong with her baby and being afraid. It was truly terrifying.

Ngoc followed a method of raising children that was spread online from the beginning. When the child started eating solid foods, he had to sit properly in a chair, focus on eating, and the parents did not force him to eat. On the contrary, the opinion of his maternal and paternal grandmothers was to try to "entice" the child in many ways, from toys, taking him for walks, shouting...

The hardship of taking care of a baby also comes from having to constantly keep an eye on them, especially when they are learning to roll over, crawl, stand, or walk. The entire day revolves around the baby, even when the baby is sleeping. In return, every time the baby learns something is also very fun.

Ngoc said, if her child caught a cold and had a dry cough, she would feel extremely stressed. She was overjoyed when her child drank 160ml of milk, but then she heard her child coughing. And then everything went back to normal, the milk just kept flowing out, and the mother's heart was extremely heavy.

"The worst part is at night, the baby is sleeping soundly and then suddenly has a coughing fit, making a mess. My husband and I have to get up, clean, change clothes, diapers, and feel so sorry for the baby that tears well up in our eyes," Ngoc said.

Having to eat in a hurry, skipping meals, and sometimes having to go out with the child halfway through a bath are common things for young couples who choose to take care of their children on their own.

What have you experienced in the process of raising children? Do you have any tips or experiences that you would like to share to encourage new parents who are just starting to raise young children? Please send your comments to email hongtuoi@tuoitre.com.vn. Tuoi Tre Online thanks you.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/nghi-viec-cham-con-de-tranh-canh-con-dau-cai-me-chong-20240415170757944.htm