5 Phrases Child Psychologists Wish Parents and Grandparents Would Stop Saying

According to Parade, everyday family conversations may seem normal, but many familiar phrases can be harmful to children's psychological development and overall well-being.

When talking to their children, parents should avoid saying things that create "pressure" - Illustration: Freepik

There are countless ways that parents and grandparents can influence the development of their child or grandchild, says clinical psychologist Dr. Sarah Bren. “Parents are constantly shaping their child’s developmental trajectory, both directly and indirectly,” Bren explains.

What should adults stop saying to children?

"Perfect"

Child psychologist Dr Caroline Danda says people often praise "perfection" when things go according to plan.

However, saying this to your child often can make him think that perfection is something that is achievable and expected, and that he needs to reach that milestone.

So say, "Okay, thank you" or "Good job" to encourage your child without creating pressure for perfection.

"No big deal"

Saying this, or something similar like "You'll get over it," is not a good way to go when your child, especially a teenager, is emotional, because to them it's a really big deal.

"This is what you should do"

This phrase falls into the category of what Dr. Danda calls “one-sided decisions,” which can unintentionally undermine a child’s confidence or independence. Instead, she suggests parents say, “I have some ideas if you want to hear them.”

How was your day?

Typically, Dr. Danda says the answer you get from this question is "Normal," and your child will get upset if you ask further.

Instead, Dr. Danda suggests phrases like, "I'm so happy to see you," or "I hope you do well on your test. I know you studied hard to prepare for it."

"What are your plans for college?"

“This is a common question, especially among parents who expect their children to be high achievers,” says Dr. Danda. Instead, she suggests a better question: “What are your plans after graduation?”

But parents and grandparents don't have to be perfect. "If you say something you really wish you hadn't, you'll have a chance to do it again because parenting is a journey, not a moment-to-moment perfection," Dr. Bren often reminds us.

Source: https://tuoitre.vn/5-cum-tu-nha-tam-ly-tre-em-mong-cha-me-va-ong-ba-ngung-noi-20250209111423616.htm