Feel guilty every time I date my best friend's wife

My best friend and I loved the same girl in college and I was the loser when they got married. But recently she took the initiative to meet me and we crossed the line...

When I was in college, my best friend and I shared a dorm room and both liked the same girl in our class. We went everywhere and did everything together. My friend and I both knew we liked the same girl, so we had a tacit agreement that whichever one he liked, the other would have to “give up”.

At that time, both of us were poor students, without a career, so we only knew that we liked each other but did not dare to express it to the person we loved. But I was always confident that we would become a couple with that girl in the future because compared to my friend, I was much better in appearance and many other aspects. Besides, I also felt that the other girl's feelings were leaning towards me.

I love her but every time I get close to her, I always feel guilty towards my friend (illustrative photo).

I liked that girl more and more, to the point that her image was always in my mind everywhere and all the time. But because I had an agreement with my best friend, and I didn’t have the courage to confess to the person I loved, I kept delaying. Then suddenly, after graduating for more than a year, I received a wedding invitation from my best friend to the girl I liked. I was in shock for a while before I regained my balance, but in my heart I still only loved her.

Then a while ago, she took the initiative to meet me and found out that her feelings for me were real. She had to get married because she accidentally got pregnant while going to a birthday party and getting drunk and losing control of herself.

My meetings with her became more frequent and we went beyond the limit. I really love her but every time I get close to her, I always feel guilty towards my friend. I don't know what to do to get out of this complicated relationship because I can't love anyone else but her.

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