Marrying an Amish man, the wedding only cost $100
In Nguyen Yen Nhi’s (born in 1988) imagination of America, there was never a concept of the Amish community. It was not until she fell in love with and became the wife of John Lapp (born in 1984) that Nhi realized that in the heart of the luxurious and modern America, there was a group of people who were loyal to a minimalist lifestyle, rejecting almost all human conveniences.
This ethnic group does not use electricity in their homes, does not use television, radio, does not take pictures, does not use rechargeable batteries, does not use computers connected to the internet or mobile phones... The whole community mainly travels by horse-drawn carriage, and considers agriculture and carpentry as the basic foundation.
They believe that the technology and industrial lifestyle of the modern world will affect culture, causing community members to distance themselves from each other. Therefore, they proactively live separately and preserve their own cultural traits.
John lived like any other Amish person until 2018. He only finished 9th grade and worked as a carpenter, building wooden houses. John was not allowed to drive or own a car. Only when he went somewhere far away was he allowed to use public transportation.
Because they don’t use electricity, John’s house only has gas-powered appliances like a gas stove and a gas refrigerator. His family also doesn’t have a television, and the computer has been stripped of all devices that can connect to the internet.
This American man, in order to get in touch with the bustling world outside, proactively left his community. John applied for a job at a 3D printing and machinery company, eager to get acquainted with the conveniences of modern life.
He built his own house, living right next to his parents' house - an area with a large Amish population in Pennsylvania, but was not allowed to participate in common activities of this community like before.
Through social networks, John accidentally met Yen Nhi - a girl from Kien Giang . In November 2018, John came to Vietnam for a trip and wanted to meet her, but Nhi refused, only wanting to keep the conversation going through social networks.
In February 2019, John came to Vietnam again, determined to meet Nhi. This time, she agreed to meet and establish a relationship. They got engaged in mid-2019 and married in 2020.
Nhi still remembers that time was the peak of the Covid-19 epidemic worldwide. She completed the paperwork and arrived in the US for a week, then all airports closed due to the impact of the epidemic.
They had a very simple wedding, costing only about… 100 USD. Almost no family attended the wedding (because he had left the Amish community), only a nephew and a few friends were present to witness.
Nhi did not feel sorry for herself, because she understood her husband's suffering and his family's difficulties as well as the laws of the Amish community here.
Move into the forest to live separate from the civilized world, make a living from home garden fruits
When they first got married, they lived in Pennsylvania. Nhi said it was a peaceful land, everyone was friendly and warm. Her husband's family loved Nhi, and she felt comforted and less lonely because her husband worked most of the day.
After just over a year, Nhi had just integrated into American culture and the customs of the Amish community, when John raised the issue of moving to another place to live. John said that his desire was to be in control of his life, to have more time for his family, to take care of his wife and children. Nhi recalled that at that time she could not help but feel confused.
When baby David (nicknamed Lua) was 5 months old, John planned to quit his job. He found a new place to build a house, planning to live a self-sufficient life, similar to the community that raised him.
In July 2021, John sold his 5-acre (about 2-hectare) private land in Pennsylvania and bought a 19-acre (nearly 8-hectare) plot of land in the town of Crossville, Tennessee, in an old, sparsely populated, and traffic-free forest area.
It was a 10-hour drive from their old home, with warmer temperatures and lower taxes. John believed it was the ideal place for a Vietnamese-American family to live and raise their children.
The first months of living on his own were extremely difficult. John still had to spend about 2/3 of his time working in Pennsylvania to make ends meet; 1/3 of his time was spent clearing land and building a house.
The land they bought was full of wild animals, undeveloped and without roads. John had to hire someone to build a small road from the main road to the house.
All construction activities after that were undertaken by the American man. Nhi recalls: “ John dug the ground, dug the tunnel, drove the tree cutter, and cut the roots himself. He also designed, measured, bought wood to build the walls and roof himself… Although he only finished 9th grade, with his Amish experience in building houses, he was able to design a very solid house, with 2 floors above ground and 1 basement.
He did not have a degree in civil engineering, so every stage of construction required government personnel to come and inspect and assess the design and safety. Yet everything was approved, perhaps because he had many years of experience, and was meticulous and thorough in everything he did .
They devoted most of the land to gardening. John planned it from the beginning so the garden is very orderly, divided into reasonable sections. The outdoor garden is divided into wooden-framed plots and tiered like terraced fields; the indoor vegetable garden is used to care for seedlings, young plants, and sprouts.
They choose to do farming the traditional way, organic farming, completely without using chemical products, pesticides, fertilizers are also made from manure, sawdust... In addition to vegetables and fruits, Nhi also grows lavender to make candles or sell dried flowers for decoration.
The biggest disadvantage of the house is that it is not connected to the local water company's clean water system. John and Nhi used to drill a well but the water was too alum to use, so they had to buy a rainwater tank, use spring water and dig a pond to have enough water for daily use.
"Disparaged" for strange lifestyle, Vietnamese wife is proud of her husband
In addition to choosing an agricultural lifestyle, the Vietnamese-American couple also learned the secrets of preserving food and vegetables the Amish way, allowing them to store food for 2 to 3 years without the need for a refrigerator.
At home, they do not use television because they think watching TV is a waste of time. They both limit their visits to the hospital and treat their illnesses with herbs.
Baby David lives in an environment close to nature, has a lot of time to interact with his parents. His best friend is a dog named Pho. David also plays with the neighborhood children and is taken by his parents to the park in the town center to socialize.
The boy loved playing the piano, singing, and helping his parents in the garden. David was smart, cheerful, active, and had good language development.
After nearly a year of self-sufficiency, John and Nhi's family now has a decent income thanks to their homegrown produce business. They go to the farmers' fair every week to sell their homegrown vegetables and fruits.
For Nhi’s family in Vietnam, the fact that their daughter married an American but had to build her own house, farm, and go to the market every week shocked the whole family. “ People said, ‘I thought marrying an American would be great, but why is life so hard?’ Many friends also asked me why I had to choose that path, ” she said.
Living in a sparsely populated area, isolated from modern life, and having an Amish husband also sometimes causes the family to be gossiped about and "disparaged" for being different.
But Nhi is happy with her choice. She also finds many positive values in the Amish lifestyle such as being environmentally friendly and always putting love and forgiveness first.
In particular, traditional Amish people often do not want to take anything from others, so they rarely accept benefits. They also do not want others to think that they are poor and very hard-working.
“ This personality trait is clearly reflected in John. There were many times when his family was in extremely difficult circumstances, but he never thought of sitting around and accepting support. He was also very gentle, especially spending a lot of time taking care of his family, loving his wife, and raising his children .”
Therefore, Yen Nhi feels proud of her husband and satisfied with the current life of her small family.
Source
![[Photo] Binh Trieu 1 Bridge has been completed, raised by 1.1m, and will open to traffic at the end of November.](https://vphoto.vietnam.vn/thumb/1200x675/vietnam/resource/IMAGE/2025/10/2/a6549e2a3b5848a1ba76a1ded6141fae)
Comment (0)